Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Exchange: Sarah vs. Tonya

Sarah and Tonya exchange emails on Thunder, Paleo, The Voice, Bangz, and Caron Butler.


Tonya: I'm going to the game on Tuesday against the Rockets. I'm still trying to keep my diet somewhere on the Paleo spectrum. Any suggestions for refreshments at The Peake? I'm nervous the security check people that go through purses won't be too pleased if they find my stash of hard boiled eggs.

Also, help me out on a new Thunder ensemble. I'm tired of the Thunder tee and a statement necklace that I steal/borrow from my roommate. BTW… totes got busted on that one from the Memphis game due to the Gram. whoopsie! 

It's cool though, I've been letting her watch "The Voice" EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I'm really getting into it though. I figured if I ever tried out, I would want to singe something by Avril, but I don't quite have the range she has. And it would be too emotional. I think I'd go for something a little more like "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Dixie Chicks.  What do you think you would sing? I imagine you singing something like "Umbrella" by Rihanna. Keep in mind, it's the Blind Auditions, so your spray tan will get you no where with Usher. And you have to have some sort of sad story for them to document. For you, I was thinking they could tell the story of that one time you lost your tooth playing soccer and how sometimes your fake tooth falls out still.

LYLAS,

Tonya



Sarah: First of all, HARD BOILED EGGZ? Thatz not Paleo, gUrl. You're better off going to the kiosk outside of section 120 to get some of those roasted almonds : ( 

About that outfit fiasco of yours- I totally get it. And with the playoffs coming up we are going to have to get super creative with those Beefy T's. I like to think the "T" in Beefy T stands for "tunic" since I've never worn one that had any shape whatsoever. It's about as tragic as Kesha taking the dollar sign out of her name.


Okay so with the outfit change up. You need to get creative with colorz. Stop with the Thunder tee's and start wearing a white top with a yellow blazer. Jeans with royal blue tennies. A blue dress (ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE A SPRAY TAN ON YOUR LEGS). You could also get creative with blue eyeliner or mascara. Don't shy away from colors though, especially if your goal is to make a statement and not blend in. 

I don't even watch the Voice but if it's anything like karaoke I would TOTALLY SING "MAMA" BY SPICE GIRLS (GURLS). DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?

Anyway, let me know about that outfit change up and those almonds : (


KD4MVP,
Sarah

p.s. did you see Russy's gUrl and her new bangz? Should we get bangz too?? Please advise. 



Tonya: Bangz can only be pulled off alongside the title of "Russy's gUrl." So. I guess Ninamari_3 is the only person allowed to have bangz right about now. 

Another line of thought is what if we, along with every other Thunder gUrl, started a Playoffs Bangs tradition??

 On my way to the third of a dozen weddings for 2014, but tell me you know we have two new players. If not I might need to ground you from Sephora for the month of March. 

Presti4prez,

Tonya

Sent from my iPhone



Sarah: Love the bangs idea. I don't love straight across on me though, so I'm gonna have to go with the swoop. To keep the playoff spirit alive, I'll change the name to "swoosh" for the time being. 

Okay I need help with the new guys. Caron Butler or something like that? And Reggie Williams? I hope Reggie #2 knows that Reggie Jackson will always be my favorite. Ps did you know his wingspan is like 7ft long?? What an angel. But seriously- I bet he could fly with those things! 

I just ran out of mascara so PLZ don't ground me from Sephora. Where else am I supposed to go when the Thunder play bad? Which by the way......... I need your thoughts. 

Sar



Tonya: Playoff Swoosh bangs. Love it. Let's make it a thing.

Caron (*not* pronounced like "Karen," … apparently. Say: Care-ON) is a sweetie. He's king of a Derek Fisher type. Old. Family Man. Everyone likes him, it seems. A few kewl things about him though… He worked at Burger King in his teens and then ended up buying like 6 Burger Kings. He also used to be addicted to Mountain Dew. Reminds me of the time in college I was addicted to Mountain Dew: Code Red. :) But the dude would pound like 6 or 8 per day, and one in the middle of the night??? WOWWWW. That's serious. It'z like you & Chic-fil-a.

Last thing about Care-ON. He LOVES chewing on straws… but he's picky about it. Just like you will only drink coffee from Starbucks, he will only chew straws from McDonald's. You HAVE to watch this clip of him of identifying a McDonald straw out of 15 options… WHILE BLINDFOLDED!
  

Reggie #2… pay no mind. We signed him to a 10 day contract and immediately sent him to the Junior Varsity squad in Tulsa. IDK WHY????

I'm not too worried about the slump. However we *do* need to play well tonight against the Rockets. Which, by the way, Patrick Beverly (they guy who hurt Russ) will be back in town and playing against Russ tonight. I bet you could cut the tension with a knife in the Peake tonight! EEEEK!!

Thunder Up, 

Ton

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Highlights, Lowlights, and All Over Color

HIGHLIGHTS
We got a New Guy! Meet Caron Butler. He's been in the NBA for a long time and apparently he can shoot well and stuff. Also he loves chewing on straws. Not 7-11 straws, but, more like Burger King or McDonald's straws. Or maybe Wendy's or Cheesecake Factory straws. We're serious. Also, he owns six Burger King restaurants and was once addicted to Mountain Dew- drinking six per day and one in the middle of the night.



Perk hurt his groin. This is a highlight for some people who believe Kendrick Perkins does more harm than good. Your boyf might fall into this category- you should ask him!

KD Got a puppy! His name is Zo! We are so happy! There have been rumors that him and Monica have broken up, but so far we haven’t been able to confirm anything.  We are getting mixed signals:

Playing well? They must still be together. New puppy? They totes broke up.

Regardless, he’s continuing to be the sweetest citizen alive! 



LOWLIGHTS
Sam Presti's dog had ACL surgery. With hard work and physical therapy, we are hoping Theo can return by the beginning of next season, but we will definitely miss him during the playoffs.

Injuries. While this is a highlight for some, we are sad Perk is injured. : ( Also, we are sad because Thabo strained his calf and will be out for a few weeks. Everyone should be good to go around Playoff time though!


ALL OVER COLOR:

“Aunt Pearl” Nike came out with a special KD shoe called the “Aunt Pearl” as a tribute to Kevin’s Aunt who passed away in 2000. The pink floral pattern is inspired by the robe Aunt Pearl wore all the time.




Friday, February 21, 2014

Highlights, Lowlights, & All Over Color

A lot has happened in 2014 so far. There are a lot of weird Thunder statistics and graphs floating around and we don't want you to get confused. Here's what you really need to know...

HIGHLIGHTS:
Kevin Durant is killing it! We'll spare you the deets, but KD is setting all sorts of crazy records for lots of points and stuff.  He's definitely getting closer to being the Most Valuable Player this season!

Russell is back! #prayers4Russ that his knee stays healthy through the rest of the season and the playoffs!


HASHEEM THABEET IS GOING TO BE A DAD! WE AREN'T SURE OF THE EXACT DUE DATE BUT WE ARE INTERESTED TO SEE HOW TALL THE BABY IS- AND IF HASHEEM WILL FIND A WAY TO PHOTOBOMB THE ULTRA SOUND. ALSO WE HOPE HE TWEETS INSPIRATIONAL DAD QUOTES.

We're #1! We are playing really well and like our defense has gotten way better and stuff. Thunder is ranked first in the NBA right now!



LOWLIGHTS:
Serge and Keri Hilson broke up : (  We hope Keri is back in Atlanta with her head up and still doing the Pretty Girl Rock. OKC misses you already, Keri!



ALL OVER COLOR:
Unconfirmed: We've seen your texts and tweets, but we haven't yet confirmed if KD and Monica broke up. Stay tuned, gUrls!
*The rest of the regular season isn't super important. We have 27 more games before THE PLAYOFFS start, and that's all we *actually* care about!

Monday, January 20, 2014

Basketball 201

Last Friday, Kevin Durant scored a Career High of 54 points. We all cheered and applauded, while being 75% sure of what, exactly, we were cheering for. So we've done some research and interpretation for all you gUrls. Hope this helps!

Career High
Remember when you posted that pic on the Gram? It was when you and your boyf were finally official and you used a Lo-Fi filter. You got like triple the amount of likes as normal. People were like totally coming out of the woodwork to like that pic. That's a career high. Except, in basketball, it's with points.

Triple-double
This is like those days when your hair is flawless, you nailed your outfit, and your makeup is perfect. You're killin' it in three departments- TRIPLE DOUBLE. But in basketball, the departments are points scored, rebounds, assists, and/or shots blocked.

"Fouled out"
No guy is perfect, right? But if your boyf forgot your birthday, anniversary, and Christmas AND he misspelled your name, was rude to your mom, and won't tell you the password on his phone… he's done. The NBA says that if a player commits six fouls, he has to sit on the bench for the rest of the game…. just like when you breakup with your boyf.

Double Tech-Ejection
But what if your boyf does something super bad?? Like cheats on you and lies about it? That's a double tech - ejection. If a player commits two technical fouls (like really bad fouls) in a game, he is automatically ejected. This means he can't even sit on the bench, he has to like go to the locker room by himself for the rest of the game! Only in gUrl world, he has to reactivate his Tinder account.

Flop
Wouldn't it be nice if there was an organization of people who fined women thousands of dollars when they claimed a fake Louis Vuitton purse from NYC's Chinatown was real? (And the monograms aren't even matched up!) That's what the NBA does when players fake like they are fouled. They just warn the players after the first time, but then they stick it to them with thousands of dollars of fines each time after that.

Charge
This one has nothing to do with credit cards or debt. A charge is when a dude gets too aggressive when he has the ball. So this is usually him running into the defender when the defender is like totally minding his own business and just doing what he's supposed to be doing. If the ref calls a foul on the guy with the ball, the defender "took a charge." This is a lot like when your roommate wrongely accuses you of borrowing/stealing her wedges when she actually left them in her overnight bag. If you stay calm, you took a charge. And she's to blame. But if you flip out on her, then it's a foul on you and it becomes a "defensive block." She wins.

Double-Dribble
You can only stop dribbling once when you hold the ball. So if you dribble, then pick the ball up and hold it, then try to dribble again (double-dribble), the other team gets the ball. : ( You can think of this like double-dipping. Itz not OK. (But just like double-dribbling, we honestly don't have that big of a problem with double-dipping if you just don't get too carried away and if we're good frandz.)

Turnover
This is when the player makes a mistake and the other team gets the ball (think: a bad pass, a double-dribble, a guy steals the ball from him, etc).  Turnovers are often a result of the player doing something dumb, but sometimes it wasn't all his fault. This is sort of like a fender bender in the parking lot. It's embarrassing and sets you back but not always completely your fault in your opinion.


Our gUrl, LC, provided Basketball 101 for us last spring! 

Friday, January 10, 2014

Kevin Durant's Twitter Password

Last night Kevin Durant's twitter got hacked. Some jokester posted an old picture of KD smoking hookah, which KD quickly deleted. This means someone might have correctly guessed his Twitter password! Which begs the question... What is KD's password? Someone (read: ex boyfriend) once told us that we are really good at guessing people's passwords. So we came up with the strongest possibilities for KD's twitter password.

_________________________________

THABEETSCOLOREDHAIRSPOT

Seattle2Rainy2008

ScottyBrookes4Lyfe

GetWellGregOden2007

Ishimm4daWin

ImissJeffGreen8

JoeyCrawford666

LeggingsAndAlternatesFreshTaDeath

WeTalkinBoutPractice99

LifechurchDotTV

LeBronismyfrienemy2012

LBJhairlinefadeaway6

RipMoveisStillaFoul

LongArmsfromBarryFarms

NothingInTheBackpack0000

GranddaddyFisher

PrestiMyFavWhiteBoy

ImActuallyPrettyNice

IMMEIDOMEANDICHILL


_______________________________


Do you have any other guesses? Leave them in the comments below!






Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Mid Season: How To Talk To gUys About the Thunder

You gUrls and gUys always talk about how much you appreciated our "How to Talk to Guys About the Thunder" cheat sheet that we did during the 2013 Playoffs.

gUys laughed.

gUrls found it useful.

So we're gonna do it again- for YOU. And for your boyf. And for your relationship. Because we care.

________________________

Want to join in conversations about the Thunder, but don't know exactly what to say?
If you're single, these conversation starters are great lead-ins to strike up dialogue with gUys. If you've got a guy, these are safe questions that won't annoy him. Our hope is for you and your Thunder gUy to connect and take your relationship deeper.

____________________________

THREE surgeries in ONE year!!!? That can't be good, right?!
Obvi, this is in reference to Russell Westbrook. And we know it's usually a horrible idea to ask closed ended questions when your objective is emotional intimacy…but trust us on this one! 

What do you think will happen with Perk?
Speculation on the future of Kendrick Perkins is a great open ended conversation for late night pillow talk. Ask this and immediately mumble: "will you scratch my back?" This is a complicated question, with lots of layers and dynamics involved. It will set you up for at least ten minutes of a decent back scratch and heartfelt conversation.


If you had to pick between Nick Collison or Steven Adams, who would be your man crush??
Fair question. We, ourselves, are still undecided. 
Nick Collison
Steven Adams

Do we know if Joey Crawford is reffing tonight?
This question can be used as many times as possible, but only once per game. Joey is a sad, mean, emotional, bald ref who wears ill fitting pants. Keep this question handy for use on all occasions- first dates, watch parties, sports bars, etc.

Did you know that Thabo [pronounced: TAH- boe] was the first player from Switzerland who was drafted by the NBA??
He will probz already know this, but your boyf will be excited that you know it too! EMOTIONAL INTAMCY!!! (for more information on Thabo, read our interview we did with him and his wifey!)
Switzerland

What's worse- the alternate jerseys? or the Christmas Sleeve jerseys??
This is a classic Thunder gUrl trick to get our gUys to talk fashion. You could easily transition from this question into a discussion about neck lines, Scott Brooks's ties (always plaid), or of course the latest Russell Westbrook outfit. 
Christmas Sleeve
Alternate Outfits


Do you think the Peake will ever stop playing "Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night" at the end of every game?
DEE DEE DEE DEE DUN DUN dun dun....


Hey I was just wondering- what Western Conference teams do you think will actually be championship contenders?
There are two groups in the NBA- the Western Conference and the Eastern Conference. If you can read this, you are a better basketball player than most of the players in the Eastern Conference. In fact your sortority's intramural C-team has a decent shot at competing in the Eastern Conference this year. However the Western Conference is really good. They have several possible championship contenders such as the Thunder, Spurs, Trail Blazers, or Warriors.