Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Summer Update

This weekend, Tonya sat down with our gUrl Malory to answer all your (and her) burning questions about the 
  • NBA draft, 
  • free agency (with a Tinder comparison), 
  • our new guys (including girlfriends and secret, non-basketball skill sets), 
  • LeBron James,
  • Kevin Durant staying with the Thunder this year (and his Aunt Pearl floral pattern),
  • Loud City fashion,
  • Russell's new sunglass line

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Memphis, Game 1: Highlights, Lowlights, All Over Color

Highlights, Lowlights, All-Over Color

Thunder vs. Memphis, Game 1



  • We won! One down, three wins to go!
  • LUCKILY FOR US, one of their players was smoking something and failed a drug test so they won't have him during this round. Kids, let this be a lesson to you!
  • Serge and Keri Hilson are back together! They split just after New Years, but there is NO room for relationship drama during the Playoffs so we are glad they pulled it together.


  • In the first half of the game, we were KILLING them. Then one Thunder gUrl said to the other Thunder gUrl, "I wish this was a closer game, those are so much more fun!" NEXT THING YOU KNOW…. they caught up to us! LUCKILY, we hung on for the win.
  • One of the Memphis players wore, in essence, the SAME OUTFIT as Russy. If that's not a Lowlight, idk what is! We are mortified for you, Russy. 



  • The next game is in OKC on Monday at 7pm! #thunderUP!

Playoffs Q&A

PLAYOFFS have FINALLY arrived!!

And some of you have NO idea of what is going on right now. We have taken a few of the most popular questions our frans have texted us this weekend and answered them for All Those Thunder gUrls out there!


Q: Why was everybody, like, all into the game last night?
A: Good question. We have beaten Memphis a few times this season, so it's understandable to wonder why everyone is flipping out over beating them last night. This is because, starting last night, and for the next couple months, these are the only games that really matter. The previous EIGHTY TWO games we've been playing are sort of important, but not nearly as important as the PLAYOFFS. (That's also why you haven't heard from us in a while!)

Q: So, like, how do the Playoffs work?
A: There are four rounds to the Playoffs. The team that wins every round, wins the NBA Championship, which is obvi the main goal.

Each round, you play the same team until one of the teams wins a total of FOUR games. So, like, there will be at least 4 games, but the most the teams will play are 7 games.  Right now, we've played only the first game against Memphis and we won, so we need to win THREE more games to move to the second round.

Appropriate questions during the Playoffs: "What is the series count right now?" "Who will we play next?" 

If this confuses you, then don't worry about it.

Q: Do you think we will win the Championship?
A: um… duh. It will be a tough road, for sure, but we've got a good shot at winning…maybe. We are definitely one of the best teams, but not always consistent.

Q: What should I wear to the game?
A: That's a tricky question! If you are going to the game, you sort of have to wear the XL Beefy T that they leave on every chair. It's a blessing and a curse. We call the Beefy T, "The Great Equalizer," because it makes everyone equal in fashion, for the most part.

Just keep in mind that whatever you wear will be covered up by the Beefy T. The worst move you could make is wearing a skirt or a dress that peaks out from under the Beefy T, totally making you look like a 5 yr old child playing dress up.

This would be funny to wear in engagement pics.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Exchange: Sarah vs. Tonya

Sarah and Tonya exchange emails on Thunder, Paleo, The Voice, Bangz, and Caron Butler.

Tonya: I'm going to the game on Tuesday against the Rockets. I'm still trying to keep my diet somewhere on the Paleo spectrum. Any suggestions for refreshments at The Peake? I'm nervous the security check people that go through purses won't be too pleased if they find my stash of hard boiled eggs.

Also, help me out on a new Thunder ensemble. I'm tired of the Thunder tee and a statement necklace that I steal/borrow from my roommate. BTW… totes got busted on that one from the Memphis game due to the Gram. whoopsie! 

It's cool though, I've been letting her watch "The Voice" EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I'm really getting into it though. I figured if I ever tried out, I would want to singe something by Avril, but I don't quite have the range she has. And it would be too emotional. I think I'd go for something a little more like "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Dixie Chicks.  What do you think you would sing? I imagine you singing something like "Umbrella" by Rihanna. Keep in mind, it's the Blind Auditions, so your spray tan will get you no where with Usher. And you have to have some sort of sad story for them to document. For you, I was thinking they could tell the story of that one time you lost your tooth playing soccer and how sometimes your fake tooth falls out still.



Sarah: First of all, HARD BOILED EGGZ? Thatz not Paleo, gUrl. You're better off going to the kiosk outside of section 120 to get some of those roasted almonds : ( 

About that outfit fiasco of yours- I totally get it. And with the playoffs coming up we are going to have to get super creative with those Beefy T's. I like to think the "T" in Beefy T stands for "tunic" since I've never worn one that had any shape whatsoever. It's about as tragic as Kesha taking the dollar sign out of her name.

Okay so with the outfit change up. You need to get creative with colorz. Stop with the Thunder tee's and start wearing a white top with a yellow blazer. Jeans with royal blue tennies. A blue dress (ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE A SPRAY TAN ON YOUR LEGS). You could also get creative with blue eyeliner or mascara. Don't shy away from colors though, especially if your goal is to make a statement and not blend in. 

I don't even watch the Voice but if it's anything like karaoke I would TOTALLY SING "MAMA" BY SPICE GIRLS (GURLS). DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?

Anyway, let me know about that outfit change up and those almonds : (


p.s. did you see Russy's gUrl and her new bangz? Should we get bangz too?? Please advise. 

Tonya: Bangz can only be pulled off alongside the title of "Russy's gUrl." So. I guess Ninamari_3 is the only person allowed to have bangz right about now. 

Another line of thought is what if we, along with every other Thunder gUrl, started a Playoffs Bangs tradition??

 On my way to the third of a dozen weddings for 2014, but tell me you know we have two new players. If not I might need to ground you from Sephora for the month of March. 



Sent from my iPhone

Sarah: Love the bangs idea. I don't love straight across on me though, so I'm gonna have to go with the swoop. To keep the playoff spirit alive, I'll change the name to "swoosh" for the time being. 

Okay I need help with the new guys. Caron Butler or something like that? And Reggie Williams? I hope Reggie #2 knows that Reggie Jackson will always be my favorite. Ps did you know his wingspan is like 7ft long?? What an angel. But seriously- I bet he could fly with those things! 

I just ran out of mascara so PLZ don't ground me from Sephora. Where else am I supposed to go when the Thunder play bad? Which by the way......... I need your thoughts. 


Tonya: Playoff Swoosh bangs. Love it. Let's make it a thing.

Caron (*not* pronounced like "Karen," … apparently. Say: Care-ON) is a sweetie. He's king of a Derek Fisher type. Old. Family Man. Everyone likes him, it seems. A few kewl things about him though… He worked at Burger King in his teens and then ended up buying like 6 Burger Kings. He also used to be addicted to Mountain Dew. Reminds me of the time in college I was addicted to Mountain Dew: Code Red. :) But the dude would pound like 6 or 8 per day, and one in the middle of the night??? WOWWWW. That's serious. It'z like you & Chic-fil-a.

Last thing about Care-ON. He LOVES chewing on straws… but he's picky about it. Just like you will only drink coffee from Starbucks, he will only chew straws from McDonald's. You HAVE to watch this clip of him of identifying a McDonald straw out of 15 options… WHILE BLINDFOLDED!

Reggie #2… pay no mind. We signed him to a 10 day contract and immediately sent him to the Junior Varsity squad in Tulsa. IDK WHY????

I'm not too worried about the slump. However we *do* need to play well tonight against the Rockets. Which, by the way, Patrick Beverly (they guy who hurt Russ) will be back in town and playing against Russ tonight. I bet you could cut the tension with a knife in the Peake tonight! EEEEK!!

Thunder Up, 


Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Highlights, Lowlights, and All Over Color

We got a New Guy! Meet Caron Butler. He's been in the NBA for a long time and apparently he can shoot well and stuff. Also he loves chewing on straws. Not 7-11 straws, but, more like Burger King or McDonald's straws. Or maybe Wendy's or Cheesecake Factory straws. We're serious. Also, he owns six Burger King restaurants and was once addicted to Mountain Dew- drinking six per day and one in the middle of the night.

Perk hurt his groin. This is a highlight for some people who believe Kendrick Perkins does more harm than good. Your boyf might fall into this category- you should ask him!

KD Got a puppy! His name is Zo! We are so happy! There have been rumors that him and Monica have broken up, but so far we haven’t been able to confirm anything.  We are getting mixed signals:

Playing well? They must still be together. New puppy? They totes broke up.

Regardless, he’s continuing to be the sweetest citizen alive! 

Sam Presti's dog had ACL surgery. With hard work and physical therapy, we are hoping Theo can return by the beginning of next season, but we will definitely miss him during the playoffs.

Injuries. While this is a highlight for some, we are sad Perk is injured. : ( Also, we are sad because Thabo strained his calf and will be out for a few weeks. Everyone should be good to go around Playoff time though!


“Aunt Pearl” Nike came out with a special KD shoe called the “Aunt Pearl” as a tribute to Kevin’s Aunt who passed away in 2000. The pink floral pattern is inspired by the robe Aunt Pearl wore all the time.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Highlights, Lowlights, & All Over Color

A lot has happened in 2014 so far. There are a lot of weird Thunder statistics and graphs floating around and we don't want you to get confused. Here's what you really need to know...

Kevin Durant is killing it! We'll spare you the deets, but KD is setting all sorts of crazy records for lots of points and stuff.  He's definitely getting closer to being the Most Valuable Player this season!

Russell is back! #prayers4Russ that his knee stays healthy through the rest of the season and the playoffs!


We're #1! We are playing really well and like our defense has gotten way better and stuff. Thunder is ranked first in the NBA right now!

Serge and Keri Hilson broke up : (  We hope Keri is back in Atlanta with her head up and still doing the Pretty Girl Rock. OKC misses you already, Keri!

Unconfirmed: We've seen your texts and tweets, but we haven't yet confirmed if KD and Monica broke up. Stay tuned, gUrls!
*The rest of the regular season isn't super important. We have 27 more games before THE PLAYOFFS start, and that's all we *actually* care about!

Monday, January 20, 2014

Basketball 201

Last Friday, Kevin Durant scored a Career High of 54 points. We all cheered and applauded, while being 75% sure of what, exactly, we were cheering for. So we've done some research and interpretation for all you gUrls. Hope this helps!

Career High
Remember when you posted that pic on the Gram? It was when you and your boyf were finally official and you used a Lo-Fi filter. You got like triple the amount of likes as normal. People were like totally coming out of the woodwork to like that pic. That's a career high. Except, in basketball, it's with points.

This is like those days when your hair is flawless, you nailed your outfit, and your makeup is perfect. You're killin' it in three departments- TRIPLE DOUBLE. But in basketball, the departments are points scored, rebounds, assists, and/or shots blocked.

"Fouled out"
No guy is perfect, right? But if your boyf forgot your birthday, anniversary, and Christmas AND he misspelled your name, was rude to your mom, and won't tell you the password on his phone… he's done. The NBA says that if a player commits six fouls, he has to sit on the bench for the rest of the game…. just like when you breakup with your boyf.

Double Tech-Ejection
But what if your boyf does something super bad?? Like cheats on you and lies about it? That's a double tech - ejection. If a player commits two technical fouls (like really bad fouls) in a game, he is automatically ejected. This means he can't even sit on the bench, he has to like go to the locker room by himself for the rest of the game! Only in gUrl world, he has to reactivate his Tinder account.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was an organization of people who fined women thousands of dollars when they claimed a fake Louis Vuitton purse from NYC's Chinatown was real? (And the monograms aren't even matched up!) That's what the NBA does when players fake like they are fouled. They just warn the players after the first time, but then they stick it to them with thousands of dollars of fines each time after that.

This one has nothing to do with credit cards or debt. A charge is when a dude gets too aggressive when he has the ball. So this is usually him running into the defender when the defender is like totally minding his own business and just doing what he's supposed to be doing. If the ref calls a foul on the guy with the ball, the defender "took a charge." This is a lot like when your roommate wrongely accuses you of borrowing/stealing her wedges when she actually left them in her overnight bag. If you stay calm, you took a charge. And she's to blame. But if you flip out on her, then it's a foul on you and it becomes a "defensive block." She wins.

You can only stop dribbling once when you hold the ball. So if you dribble, then pick the ball up and hold it, then try to dribble again (double-dribble), the other team gets the ball. : ( You can think of this like double-dipping. Itz not OK. (But just like double-dribbling, we honestly don't have that big of a problem with double-dipping if you just don't get too carried away and if we're good frandz.)

This is when the player makes a mistake and the other team gets the ball (think: a bad pass, a double-dribble, a guy steals the ball from him, etc).  Turnovers are often a result of the player doing something dumb, but sometimes it wasn't all his fault. This is sort of like a fender bender in the parking lot. It's embarrassing and sets you back but not always completely your fault in your opinion.

Our gUrl, LC, provided Basketball 101 for us last spring!